As the new season of the Bachelorette continues, it was the perfect time to read Andi Dorfman’s It’s Not Okay.
Dorfman was The Bachelorette and ended up engaged to a man from her season (dubbed #26 in the book). Then… well… crash and burn. Publicly.
Dorfman’s book begins as she’s picking up the shambles of her life and drinking copious amounts of wine at her friend’s house.
As I read this book, I was struck by how authentic Dorfman’s voice sounded. Her personality that she showed on the show was exactly what you read in the book. She had the same sense of humor. The same type of language used. Never afraid to say what is really going through her mind.
It was refreshing to read that. And to read about some of the red flags she ignored while on the show, including a fight that never made it onto television.
I also found it fascinating that she more or less auditioned for The Bachelor because there were free drinks at the casting call.
Dorfman had been a prosecutor in Georgia prior to going on the show and originally, I was judging her because she never went back to that career after leaving the show–instead moving to NYC and starting her life as a former reality TV personality.
But after reading It’s Not Okay, I understand why she didn’t. Being on the show prompted a quarter-life crisis so to speak. I can identify with that feeling. And the breakup prompted her to want to leave the Atlanta area, where she and her ex-fiance both lived and had family.
It’s Not Okay was a quick read (I got through it in three days) and was enjoyable. There are some tips of advice, but I didn’t really see this as an advice book. It seemed like she was writing herself a self-help list instead of talking down or at the reader.
I would recommend this book to any mid-20s woman who’s lived life, questioned their job/career or gone through a breakup (even watched a friend go through one). It’s a fun read.